Do you think Santa enjoys poppers ?

Topic created by Elvis
on Mon, 23 Dec 2024 at 15:29

Elvis said on Mon, 23 Dec 2024 at 15:29...

I bet he does. I bet he watches some elf porn too. Besides leaving out milk and cookies for him, I'm going to set out a bottle of poppers and see what happens.

Guttrunks said on Mon, 23 Dec 2024 at 18:52...

Your question, although a Yuletide jest, has an interesting answer. The true origins of "Santa": actually Odin, an old man with a beard, one eye, and carrying a mighty spear called Gungnir. To my knowledge Odin has never been involved in debauches, or other irregular sensual behavior. I would therefore suggest you leave out a large sausage, a glass of schnapps, and a large cloth to wipe his spear. I doubt he would appreciate a bottle of poppers in the Post Miller epoch anyway, according to many persons hereabouts poppers only existed in their true form when Mr Miller made them.

Yuletide felicitations to all.

Baron Von Hommstein (aka Aurora) said on Tue, 24 Dec 2024 at 00:30...

Dear Mr Guttrunks,

It is my pleasure to wish you a merry Christmas.
Your comments/replies provide me with great amusement!
If my knowledge of the old timey English language was sufficient I
would gladly reply in such style!

Kind Regards

Guttrunks said on Tue, 24 Dec 2024 at 16:20...

Sir, it pleases me to know that I am appreciated. Alas, that has not always been the case. Today, for example, I was pelted with rotten fruit by street urchins, and subject to a hurricane of profanities! My crime? to wear a horse hair wig (decorated in a seasonal fashion with ribbon bows), and plus fours. Why this angered these ill unkempt young men, who "hang out" all day outside the local Oddbins, is beyond my ken. I also do not know who "Bro" is, but they seem to be gossiping about him endlessly. Perhaps he is a popular singer, or a celebrity of some kind, I have no idea. Neither do I care one fig!

I purchased several carrier bags of cream sherry, and am currently viewing several "Santa's" (as per my friend Elvis' suggestion) on a web site I just discovered by chance. They are currently live and engaged in all manner of lewd, lascivious outage, I am shocked to the very core. The name of this site is Chaturbate, it is a veritable cauldron of sensuality and lust. My lack of proficiency with computers means I have been unable to navigate away from this site, and so duly sit here, in clothes smeared with rotten peaches, in an agitated state of increasing intoxication eating Lebkuchen. My fear is this night might bring unexpected perils.

Elvis said on Wed, 25 Dec 2024 at 00:37...

Well. Tonight's the night. Christmas eve. I hope that Santa is good to me. What I really want Santa to put in my stocking is some dirty women's panties. Ever since my pretty Lisa Marie passed, my supply of dirty nasty panties has gone away. And I sure do miss it. I like to wear them while I Masturbate and sniff poppers. I'm lost without them. Perhaps I need help. I like them goopy, stained, and sticky.

What have I become ? I'm ashamed of myself. But really I'm not. It's very confusing. Is there such a retail store to purchase these ? Perhaps a thrift store ?

Aurora said on Wed, 25 Dec 2024 at 10:37...

Elvis, if your prepared to pay up.. may I suggest searching for an Only Fans model who will gladly provide some in exchange for money
Hehe!

Merry Christmas all!

Guttrunks said on Wed, 25 Dec 2024 at 13:29...

Indeed. I understand that websites exist where one may purchase used undergarments. A part time job in a laundry is another possibility.

Elvis said on Thu, 26 Dec 2024 at 14:02...

Santa RAPED me !!

I don't want to talk about it.

Pastor V de Gato said on Thu, 26 Dec 2024 at 17:49...

Confess your sin, brother E! where you wearing Lisa Marie's panties? and presenting yourself on a fur rug by the fire! who came down your chimney pipe....Santa C or Satan! CONFESS!

Elvis said on Fri, 27 Dec 2024 at 00:34...

Yes. That son-of-a-bitch Jolly Ol' Saint Nick raped the shit out of me. Pretty sure he drugged me too. And no, I don't wear Lisa Marie's panties anymore. The beautiful smell of her is gone from them. Now it's just crusty layers of my own spooge.

But I think that bastard drugged me before he raped me. I admit to having way too many shots of liquor. And yes, I probably did pass out on the couch. But I have a memory of a beast dressed in red and white having his way with me. And I awoke in the morning with a sore and bleeding asshole. I did have 4-5 supreme deluxe burritos from Taco Bell with extra diablo sauce. But no way could that have made my asshole bleed.

I checked my outside security cameras expecting to see Santa climb to the roof, hop on his sleigh powered by reindeer, and fly off. But all I saw was a greasy looking dude dressed in a Santa suit hop in to an older Chevy Impala, and speed off down the street.

I went to the police station to report the rape. I even showed the police chief my bleeding ass. And asked if he wanted to take some DNA. But he refused. He actually didn't even believe me. He said that Santa Clause isn't real.

Worst day of my life.

Pastor V de Gato said on Fri, 27 Dec 2024 at 12:10...

Beelzebub is known to drive a Chevy Impala. You home is plagued with demons! attracted by your wicked thoughts about panties, and the smell of Taco Bell...look on Youtube! at the Satanic band Electric Six!

Danger! High Voltage

Fire in the disco
Fire in the Taco Bell
Fire in the disco
Fire in the gates of hell

pray for brother E, that he may mend his sinful ways and cast out all dirty thoughts and only eat at Wendy's.

Miss Georgina Tinkle said on Fri, 10 Jan 2025 at 12:29...

No, Father Christmas does not enjoy poppers. As for the other matters under discussion: disgusting. You should all be ashamed of yourselves! I myself heard a man make a disgusting remark about "Santa's big package" in Harrods! I think it shameful that Christmas is ruined by thoughtless persons. I duly followed this person into the Food Hall, and an altercation followed, other people involved themselves, and a melee broke out. I can only say that I will shopping at Harvey N's from now on. Ban me! How dare they!