Life without poppers???
Posted on Poppers Guide's Forum
Topic created by Hard On Hard Off
on Thu, 9 Jul 2020 at 02:30
Hard On Hard Off said on Thu, 9 Jul 2020 at 02:30...
Long story short. I've been using poppers for 10 years.
Life before poppers was get horny, think about sex, watch porn, jerk off with a hard dick and shoot off. Life after poppers was get horny, think about poppers, think about sex, watch porn, jerk off with a limp dick and shoot off. Poppers seem to take the number one spot and I couldn't imagine life without poppers. I smoked for 2 years and couldn't imagine life without smokes and good coffee. I quit several years ago and will never go back to smoking. Smokes and poppers seem to have been a big mental crutch for me. Both give real pleasure but both made me limp dicked.
I took a one month break from poppers and went back to my old self before discovering poppers. I kinda of like the old way better. My dick gets and stays rock hard. I forgot how big my dick could get when rock hard.
I still love poppers but may only limit it to right before I shoot off instead of huffing for 3 hours straight with porn on the TV. Being able to get hard is a real confidence booster. What do you guys think???
Chicago Mike said on Fri, 10 Jul 2020 at 18:04...
You do you I guess. I love poppers but can't do them for more than 1 hour so yes I get the limp dick thing but not all the time. Don't know how you can do poppers for more than 1 hour to be honest. I'm ready to explode after 1 hour of use along with porn or sex.
William Apple said on Sun, 12 Jul 2020 at 16:58...
Your previous use was excessive and pretty crazy. Moderation is good. I have no idea how anyone can use poppers for 3 hours...it would totally screw me over. You have an addictive personality i think. Cut down or give up altogether.
George Smiley said on Mon, 13 Jul 2020 at 23:37...
Hey man, I totally identify. Porn/poppers totally exacerbated my anally-focused & anxious side of me. I actually got to the point that I was listening to femdom hypnosis recordings encouraging me to become impotent, while I watched the most erotic visuals I could imagine. With a big inflatable buttplug vibrating up my ass. I definitely feel like I conditioned myself into erectile dysfunction.
I haven't used poppers in 2+ years and have done a lot to improve my fitness, but still I see I've rewired my brain (as well as having some unresolved/buried trauma stuff - probably the poppers binges were themselves traumatic, when I was listening to abusive dommes speaking directly to my subconscious mind while I was in a fugue state). So basically now, impotence is what turns me on, otherwise I feel disconnected to my sexual energy.
Sucks to me! Wish I'd never done poppers. But my brain will always crave them. Good job I know only shitty ones are available - that makes relapse less likely.
George Smiley said on Mon, 13 Jul 2020 at 23:39...
How are you doing with the coffee right now?
I've been drinking a hella lot since lockdown. Good, third wave stuff. Fortunately much easier to get hold of than a bottle of IBN. But it sends me into the porn loop, into the anxiety loop. So, another thing I should give up.
William Apple said on Sat, 18 Jul 2020 at 19:41...
speaking directly to my subconscious mind
interesting point. makes me wonder what happens to the input during poppers - I mean it is certainly intense and heightened. You are saying it is cemented hard into the subconscious. If you have previous trauma you might have PTSD. It is a good idea to get that resolved, or it can manifest itself in a challenging and unexpected way. It is a very big deal...be well. Oh and maybe poppers, and other things, are related to the primary trauma. Folks chase sensations, as it detracts from the pain of previous trauma. Distraction through any hedonistic pleasure dulls that pain - hence some overeat, drink, become sexually promiscuous, and worse.
George Smiley said on Sun, 26 Jul 2020 at 09:40...
Thanks for your reply, William Apple. Yes, I did have a therapist tell me I had PTSD (though, I gather, everyone does these days). Basically I got humiliated in the lockeroom at school for my "small penis" when I was aged 11-13 and it was a time of terror. The teasing wasn't actually anything out of the ordinary, just kids looking for the one who's different to pick on, but I was sensitive and took it badly. In adulthood I always had erectile issues and generally avoided sex/women. The anxiety disorder was firmly (if that's the right word) established.
Then aged 32, already having the unfortunate habit of masturbating anally and listening to humiliatrixes whilst watching the visual material I found to be the most stimulating, I unfortunately discovered poppers, which took it to a new level of crazy. Though in reality I was just alone in my bedroom making myself anxious, unhappy, and increasingly impotent. And creating many difficulties for myself in the real world. A world which, despite my best wishes, continued to exist independent of my own thoughts.
It was common for the recordings to tell me that I was pathetic, a loser, not a real man; I could never please a woman; I couldn't get hard; I couldn't stay hard; I'd cum too soon because I always cum too soon; before I even entered her I'd find myself cumming, etc. As I write this, I can feel the words buried in my skull.
The poppers got worse and I continued chasing the buzz, even as the consequences grew increasingly severe. Mental, physical, spiritual malaise; emotionally dead, except when I was allowing myself these high-voltage blasts of pain.
Anyway. As I said, two years clean from poppers now. Still having relapses with listening to dominatrix audios, sex-toys, coffee and the odd can of beer.
I'm beginning to learn something about the limbic system, mammalian brain, amgydala hijack; chronic stress; panic disorders, etc, and to understand what these women were doing to me... What I was doing to me! Since I was the one that chose the recordings. My addict-brain, my brain.
Useful pointers towards recovery found in disparate places. I really like the tech writer Tristan Harris who says our brains are no match for our technology. I definitely think it's significant that my porn/popper habit escalated just as news/social media was becoming more frenetic and toxic:
I've just been listening to Steven Hayes, who founded Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. That looks like a therapeutic approach that could really help me!:
Hard On Hard Off said on Mon, 27 Jul 2020 at 00:17...
Some of you guys went a little too deep for me but thanks for the responses. Just checked this thread and wow!!! I will still use poppers but try to time it to match my impending orgasm. I don't have any type of weird psych problems. I'm rich and happy. Just enjoy degenerate sex. LOL!
Jeffrey Epstein said on Mon, 27 Jul 2020 at 19:56...
You and me both, brother, you and me both!